Wadley Biggins

With the Tour de France coming up, I took it upon myself to interview Bradley Wiggins.

I met Bradley in a run-down cafe over-looking the waters that lap at Brighton's lengthy stretch of pebbles. He turned up, 1.5 minutes fashionably late, wearing what can only be described as a dart board.

Hi Bradley nice to meet you, sorry you're late. Can I get you a drink?

"Ah yeah, sorry I'm late. Had to get dressed. I'll have a bottle of champagne please, and a straw."

I'm glad you said that, Wiggo, because I've been drinking vodka since 9am in anticipation of this midday interview. What are you wearing, if you don't mind me asking?

"It's a mod outfit."

It looks a little like a dart board.

"Ah yeah well it is a dart board but people aren't really getting it that I'm a mod and I don't have any clothes with the logo on, only my helmet, so I've started wearing this dart board too. Paul Weller said he used to wear a dart board on his chest. Haha we have a laugh about it now, but often it's slightly awkward because I'm still wearing one."

Well, I'm sure you don't care what I think but, nevertheless, I think you look rather good.

"Yeah thanks, that means a lot."

So, bikes.

"Yeah, bikes."

You must love bikes. There is also a chance you hate them. Which one is it, Wiggo?

"I actually hate bikes you're right. But I'm just so good at riding them. And when I start something I get carried away. To be honest when I went for that final stage win at the Tour de France all I was thinking was how are you doing this, Wigs? Oh and why!? Haha. But to be honest I couldn't breathe at that point so the laugh came out a bit more like the beginnings of a heart attack."

Some people say you look after your body with infinitely more care and precision than any normal quite lazy human who has little-to-no will power, yet you then put your body which is a temple into the most intense and death provoking situations - i.e. riding up and down The Alps during a three week race with 200 other guys, covering over 200km a day at speeds often rising above 60km an hour. Is this oxymoronic lifestyle confusing in your head?

"Yeah. I see what you mean. We eat porridge for breakfast and goji berries as a snack - things that only people who want to live a long time do - then try and kill ourselves on a bike. Mentally that is tiring. But all I can say is it's worth it when you you're sitting on a throne at the Olympics, or holding up a yellow lion at the end of a stage win. You know."

Yeah. I think I get it. What's the deal with hair? You have none on your legs but a lot on your face and on top of your head.

"Hair on your legs makes you go slower. But hair on your head and face makes you look better. I think I would look weird without my full beard and long hair. What people forget is that out in the real world my hair isn't long, it is longish. Also, I won the Tour of California with this on my face so maybe we should stop shaving our legs. I don't know why we do that to be honest."

Great. I'm sure you'll see an increase in groupies as a result. Just another quick one before you go, I know you're busy. What's it like riding with Cav?

"Me and Cav go way back, we really get along. I hated him for a while and he hates me sometimes but really we get along. He's from the Isle of Man so naturally he's seen things I haven't seen. Like cats with no tails, and I can only imagine what that does to one's mental state. He's a tough guy. I hope to ride with him a lot more."

Thanks for your time, Wiggo.

"No problem."

Are you sure you're alright riding back?

"Yeah course. Oh this?" He asked pointing to the near empty bottle of champagne. "Yeah you're right, better finish it. Someone had to pay for that." At which point he removed the straw, necked the last little bits and walked out to his bike.

Catch Wiggo's team mate Froome on the Tour de France, July 5 - 27, ITV.

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